On being nice.

“Nice,” when used as a descriptor to describe one human being to another, often gets a bad rap. It comes with a connotation that the “nice” person is, well…sort of a Hufflepuff. Well-meaning, smiles a lot, but maybe a little dim. Like if “nice” is the first adjective you associate with someone, then there must not be very much to say about them at all. There’s a widespread sort of notion that “nice” is trite, “nice” is silly, “nice” is not to be taken seriously.

You guys, that’s such a load of bullshit. Being nice is the fucking best.

Hey Ki, keep up the good work!Ki Swan, Resident Advisor Continue reading

Let’s Make Rupee Bonbons!

Rupee Bonbons!

I’ve been wanting to contribute to Gamervescent without having to write much. I just suck at writing, and I don’t enjoy it much. So I thought, “I can make some game-related food items and take lots of pictures!” Why yes, having pictures will save me from the agony of actually having to write.

After spending about five minutes to think hard, I decided to commence my first video game food post with rupees from the Legend of Zelda series. I thought it was going to be easy-peasy, given the fairly simple shape. Well, it was NOT. I probably would never make these again, but I’m going to share how I made them for those of you who are just curious or brave enough to try for yourself.

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HEY, LISTEN! Want to Write for Gamervescent?

hey listen

We know that you have opinions on games. We want to hear them. Why not send them our way so that EVERYONE can hear them?

Some things you should know:

1. You don’t have to be a professional writer, just a person who loves video games. (Or is just in a “friends with benefits” situation with video games.)

2. All gaming skill levels are welcome. Even if you just watched someone play a video game once and have something interesting to say about it, we want to see your pitch.

3. It can be an essay about how you got into gaming, your opinion on a game (current, retro, tabletop), photos of gaming-related arts and crafts you made, humor pieces, videos, or something we haven’t even thought of yet! As long as it’s entertaining, we want to see your pitch.

4. Keep it under 1,500 words.

5. If your  piece includes pictures, make sure they’re good quality. The higher resolution available, the better; we rarely stick an image smaller than 400px wide in a post. DON’T steal images from other lil’-blogs-that-could sitesif you use images from the Internet, make sure they’re widely available. Taking your own screengrabs is great! And illustrating your own ideas in pictorial formholy shit, that might be even better.

6. If you have a question about anything, ask!

7. Most importantly… Be cool. No “why biology dictates that men are better at video games than women” pitches or videos of you dressing a toddler as a koopa shell and throwing him into traffic.

Send us your pitches at submissions@gamervescent.com. Give us a few days to get back to you. Listen to our apologies as we explain to you that we can’t pay you in anything but love and heart emojis and personal blog promotion at this point.

This site exists because we like playing games and we really like having oddball conversations about games with our friends. We don’t care if you haven’t played the latest AAA game released last midnight yet. We think you’re cool even if you really suck at driving or shooting or jumping on mushrooms in games. We want to hear why you poured hours into leveling all your attributes to 100 for a chance to fight the Ebony Warrior in Skyrim. We want to laugh about the way Luigi gains airtime by flailing his legs when he jumps in Mario 2. We want to argue over who’s the hottest video game dude of all time (Dante NO Brynjolf NO Garrus NOPE Leon Scott Kennedy DEFINITELY). We want to hear your summary of the plot of Final Fantasy XIII as you understand it from hearing your significant other play in the next room. We want to read about the secret room you discovered in Donkey Kong 64, and the way playing Zelda games impacted your childhood, and how you made a life-long friend in WoW. We want to decorate My Little Pony dolls to make them look like BioShock Infinite characters. We want to see pictures of your pets’ best cosplays.

We don’t tolerate assholes ’round these parts.

If you’re interested in contributing to Gamervescent, hit us up! submissions@gamervescent.com

Gruntilda lives in her head.

Donkey Kong Island

I would like to talk about something that has been bothering me for quite some time. It is quite the most pressing issue in gaming, and can be traced back to the late 90s.

Yes folks, I’m talking about all of the giant heads that make an appearance in your beloved Rare games for the Nintendo 64.  And the heads don’t just haunt your favorite gaming worlds, they often house the main antagonists of each of these games. And when I say house, I mean, really: the heads open their large mouths only to reveal an entrance for the heroes to explore. Continue reading

Kim Kardiashian: Hollywood. Don’t Tell Anyone I Wrote About It.


Okay, don’t tell anybody this, but yesterday I downloaded the Kim Kardashian game just to see what people are talking about. And don’t tell anyone this either, but I spent at least two hours playing it.

I’ll remind you that I’ve asked you not to tell anybody, so if you do, you’ve broken a sacred trust between us.

It’s pretty boring. You can tell people that.

I found it boring, okay? BORING.

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Life 2.OMG

If you haven’t yet, be sure to take several minutes out of your day and watch Life 2.0. This documentary about Second Life shares stories of people who are (or were) addicted to the game and how it affects their real lives. It is 1) a total train wreck and 2) kind of hard to stop watching. It’s on Netflix! And YouTube. If I haven’t convinced you yet, just know that there’s an avatar sex scene.

And here’s the trailer if you want the short version.

What Asari Look Like to Each Other


So in that bar on Illium, in Mass Effect 2the one where Matriach Aethyta worksif you’re a big creep who goes around and eavesdrops on other people’s conversations and you listen to that multi-species group of dudes watching an Asari exotic dancer for a bachelor party, they confirm that the physical appearance of the Asari differs depending on who’s doing the looking. The convo (heavily paraphrased) goes something like this:

Salarian: “It’s cool that you guys find the Asari so attractive. I’ve always found that interesting, since they look so much like my people.”

Turian: “What? No! They look like Turians! Check out the mandibles on this babe.”

Human: “I don’t know what you guys are talking about. They have boobs.”

And then they all look at one another with dawning realization and say something like, “Whooooaaaa, dudes, what DO the Asari really look like?”

Good question, bros! I have spent a lot of idle time wondering about it since.  Continue reading

games. life. occasional giddiness.