A “The Last of Us” Review I Meant to Write Months Ago and Now Can’t Remember the Details For

The Last of Us

Several months ago I  had the opportunity to play through The Last of Us, a post-apocalyptic game developed by Naughty Dog. If you haven’t played this game, you really should and soon. Why? I can’t remember because I played it months ago and forgot to tell you about it then, but trust me when I say it’s worth your time.

OH MY GOD! At the beginning of the game, something HUGE happens. If memory serves, it’s terrifying, and you spend a lot of time biting your nails and screaming in terror as you try to navigate through some stuff that has totally slipped my mind. Was it a car crash? Were some guys chasing me? I CAN’T REMEMBER. But it’s possible that both those things happened, and you would be a total idiot to not play that game and re-live the experience that I can no longer remember.

I recollect that I spent a lot of time in hiding, scrounging for ammo and tools to help me along my path to wherever I was going. I seem to remember shooting guys and throwing bombs and running away and running away some more. But it’s possible that all these months later, I’m mixing The Last of Us up with another game, and it was really one of those puzzle games where you swap candies until you can’t anymore and then pay your phone 99 cents for more turns.

Now, maybe at some point the Joker showed up as well, but I can’t verify that at this time, as I’m also trying to write a review of Arkham Asylum.

In short, if you like running away from clicking zombies, throwing bombs, shooting stuff, voice actresses that aren’t Ellen Page, brooding main characters who make questionable moral decisions, a pretty engrossing storyline that I can no longer remember, and possibly the Joker, The Last of Us is for you.

 

Bethany Bryan writes funny things at Welcome to Bethville! and xoJane.

Halo 4: Tutorial Time

Previously, Joe Culp‘s Game Tours: Halo 4, Part 1 & Part 2

Starting off:

Environmental concept art is a type of developmental painting used in video game production as a way for painters to visualize the ideas of the creative team. If it weren’t for these great painters in the industry, then there would be no unified vision to lead the increasingly complex demands of modern level design. The production team would be doomed, dead in the water; their game would start looking cheesy and ill-designed. This would be all right if we were still in the 90s, or if a “generic fantasy anime” look was the goal, but we are dealing with 2013 AAA gaming! By now concept artists of all stripe have found an important and greatly romanticized role in the video game industry.

So, at the end of my last “game tour” of Halo 4 I said that I would take what I learned about the level design and reverse engineer some mock concept art out of it. What an absurd idea, concept art fan art! Really I just wanted to paint a laser floor.

Here is what I came up with (click for embiggening):

what I came up with Continue reading

Catachresis

I just played Cameron Kunzelman’s Catachresis for the first time.

Catachresis

It was not cathartic. It was not at all “satisfying” in any measure that would typically cause me to apply that term to a game—no questions answered, no loose ends tied up. It was a game about not knowing, a game about things that cannot be comprehended by the human mind, a game about problems with no solutions, a way too scary game. Continue reading

C.A.T.H.A.R.S.I.S.

CATHARSIS: A Kunzelman Trip

I was very excited to hear about the impending Halloween release of “CATHARSIS,”  the latest “trip” from hard rock game designer Cameron Kunzelman.

ROILING HORDE

So basically in ages past, a corrupt mage named Garm used a set of Runestones to summon a demon named Skorne. However, Skorne crushed Garm and imprisoned his soul in the Underworld. Skorne, fearing the power of the Runestones, scattered them throughout the four realms, so that they could never be used against him. So in comes Jeff, the cleanup guy. His job is simple: kill Skorne. The Runestones don’t matter.

Oh, and did I mention? Skorne comes with a roiling horde of demons. Continue reading

Get Your Game Face On! Shadows of the…Damn it, it’s Paula! RUN!!

Truly, not even exaggerating (as much as usual)—being chased by Paula in Shadows of the Damned scares me more than anything I have ever encountered in a video game to date. So OF COURSE I want to make my face look like hers. Watch to achieve the perfect look for jumping out of a dark closet and alarming your nearest and dearest:

Continue reading

Spooky Flash Games

How many times do I need to talk about how underrated flash games are, y’all? For this spooky edition of flash game recommendations, I want to mention a few creeptastic flash games.

too...many...flash games....

The Outbreakhttp://www.survivetheoutbreak.com/

Do you remember those Choose Your Own Adventure books? Those were awesome, right?! Well, The Outbreak is just like them. Except your choices change the outcome of a movie instead of a book, and you don’t have to flip pages! Spoiler: zombies are gross. Continue reading

Favorite Ass-Kickers: Helena Harper

Helena Harper

When I first started playing Resident Evil 6 (for the on-my-own, playing-for-serious first time, not the drinking-with-Hannah-on-the-IRL-date-of-the-in-game-bioterrorist-attack-on-Tall-Oaks first time), I chose to play as Helena and took an instant dislike to her. “She’s sort of a lady-bro, isn’t she?” I thought to myself. “This woman is a buffoon,” I announced aloud moments later. “She’s like the female Chris!”* I complained to my husband. As I continued playing, I didn’t exactly change my mind about these initial assessments, but my attitude toward Helena transformed completely.

You guys, I love Helena Harper. I love her so much. And I love her because she is a lady-bro, because she is a heedless idiot who rushes in relying on her muscles rather than her wits to right wrongs (usually creating more wrongs in the process). I love her because, as I yelled admiringly at least 194 times on that first playthrough, Helena is a HOSS. Continue reading

Squeeeeeee!

All right, boys and girls, let’s all do the collective “AHHHHWWWWWW!!!!!”

1) Andre
Shadow Hearts: Covenant

This little dude, one of the bosses, is Andre. A pink, mewing, giant kitten! Do not be fooled by this puffball, Andre is kinda badass…though I would like to cuddle into that bubble gum fur.

Andre

Continue reading

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