An Incomplete List of Awful Things in Bloodborne

whatthefuckisthatthing

I had just fought my way through a rather dreary village made up of run­down shacks built from rotting wood. I made my way into a large barn, occupied with only one foe, not too different from the other pitchfork and axe-wielding ghoulish figures I’ve been cutting down for so much of this game. I started towards him, but when he noticed me, something weird happened. He groaned, clutching his head. Before I could take the time to speculate what his problem was, his head exploded, with perhaps a dozen venomous snakes emerging from what remained of his neck.

The biggest snake of the bunch lashed out from quite a distance, poisoning me. Before I could use an antidote, I was struck by more of them, quickly dying.

What you may first think is a dead body sometimes isn’t.

People I talk to, locked in their homes out of fear, are steadily declining in sanity.

There are messages and documents lying around mentioning Old Ones, the Choir, and other vague yet menacing-sounding things.

There are these tall, lanky dudes carrying sacks which may or may not contain bodies in them, with faces resembling Edvard Munch‘s The Scream, a painting I‘ve seriously had multiple nightmares about as a kid and an adult. My friend told me to let one kill me. As if I really had a choice. After the game reminded me that I died, there was a cutscene, a first-person view from the inside of one of those sacks. I awakened in a jail cell, albeit one that wasn’t locked. Went down some stairs and quickly had my throat slit by an old woman with an elongated spine, bent at sharp angles, screaming “IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT!” Things got worse after that. When I finally found a way out of that place and back to the Hunter’s Dream (the game’s hub), I texted my friend: “WHY DID I LISTEN TO YOU. THAT PLACE WAS A GODDAMN NIGHTMARE.”

An old man dressed like he’s the Pope’s right-hand man sits in a wheelchair outside facing a moonlit lake. He does not speak, only groans and points out at the water with his scepter. That way lies Rom the Vacuous Spider. If you fear spiders, you’re not going to want to go that way. If you don’t fear spiders, you soon will.

Horrifying transformations are kind of the norm in Yarnham, it seems.

At a place called the Nightmare Frontier there’s a purple creek inhabited by freakish tentacle monstrosities. The creek is poison. I don’t know what lies beyond them. I do know that if I try to go the other way, large, diseased-looking yetis will hurl boulders at me. They have really great aim.

In a chalice dungeon, I stood on a mound of…wait, are these dead pigs? WHAT THE FUCK WHY ARE THERE SO MANY OF THEM

Any time I sit still to go through my inventory or swap equipment around, I can hear a baby crying. I have to keep moving if I don’t want to hear it. I don’t know how to make it stop. Please tell me how to make it stop.

All of which is to say that Bloodborne is an amazing, horrifying game where every time I think I’ve seen the final distressing, terrifying thing it has to offer, something else comes out around the corner and murders me.

 

Brett Marcus Cook is an artist, designer, and giant Godzilla fan. Check out his comics Other SleepCannonball Fist, and Reflected Gaze: A Body Image Project!

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