After entering Fontaine Futuristics, I am met with a recording by Gil Alexander. That dude Sinclair (You would think I trusted him by now. The answer is NOPE.) informs me that Gil was involved in Big Daddy research. So I get super excited. I want to know all I can. I get to go back underwater for a little bit, which is one of my favorite areas to explore. I think it’s the prettiest part of Rapture. The bright coral and little ADAM slugs. It’s peaceful, and now and again you glimpse a Big Sister swimming around. They sure are graceful for such killing machines. Schools of fish swimming around ruins. It’s my favorite place.
Where we last left off, I had saved as I entered Dionysus Park and some dude named Stanley Poole is wanting to cut me some sort of deal. Basically, I began thinking, “I don’t trust you. You’re a bad person.” While wandering around I discovered a diary that helped ease some confusion for me. There is some dude named Mark, and he has a daughter named Cindy who seems to have become a Little Sister and he wants to rescue her. So, mystery solved. Now I can calm down because I did not make that up. After finding Poole locked away, I decide I hate him even more because he wants me to “deal with” the Little Sisters in exchange for train safe passage. Why? Because they can send memories to Lamb. Memories of what, though, I began to wonder as I wandered. This area is where I run into Houdini Splicers. My thoughts: fuck them I hate them.
SPOILER. Don’t look at the images below if you don’t want your face to explode from the cutest thing that ever happened in Thedas.
I’m warning you.
Hold on to your face.
I PRESENT TO YOU BATTLE NUG.
He’s a nug. With a saddle. You can ride him.
Look at his face.
I SAID LOOK AT IT.
Well, here it is: Blackwall’s OKCupid profile. You can view it for realsies and send him messages and hot pics here if you have a profile. Just remember that he’s very sensitive. (Click the images below to enlarge.)
I went looking around the Internet today to see if anyone else wanted to talk about how in Thedas everyone just walks around on skeletons like it ain’t no thang. I mean, characters have entire conversations in rooms with PILES of corpses in them. Can you not take that conversation next door where there aren’t any dead bodies? There’s a man who literally burned to death RIGHT THERE. His mouth is open. Did you not notice? OK.
It was during this search that I happened upon this important article about cheese and the tragic end of one individual.
Going farther into the wormhole I’ve opened, did you know that if you Google “skeleton Thedas,” you’ll get a bunch of pictures of silent film star Theda Bara and skeletons? You will. I’ll be back tomorrow with more thoughts on Dragon Age Inquisition, which has basically become my life.
Bethany is thankful for:
- That little squealy noise that nugs make in Dragon Age Inquisition.
- The Lego Hobbit game red brick that allows you to play as tiny Sauron. OMG, do you think he has a tiny palantír the size of a marble????
- Party Vorcha.
- My BFF, Lara Croft! Love u babe!
- Alistair’s strong, loving warrior arms and the hours I spent trying to figure out how armor would come off in the heat of a sex moment.
- Jennifer Culp, for showing all the love and support a person could ever need, in games and in real life. [Jenn Note: ♥]
- My favorite person and how he always knows when to put the controller in my hands.
Brett is thankful for:
- Nintendo – I bought a Wii U in March. A month or so later, so did one of my best friends. Then our other best friend bought one when he came in from Korea for the summer. We reunited with an old friend from school last weekend, crammed into my room, playing Smash Bros and Mario Kart while reminiscing. I haven’t really gotten excited for games in a long time, only buying one or two things a year for a while now, but the Wii U really reinvigorated me, and I’m so happy that my closest friends own one too so that we can all play and laugh with one another, even if one of us is currently in another country. And if we aren’t playing together, we’re usually sending obscene messages to each other in the Miiverse. Nothing says friendship like crudely drawn penises, right?
- Anita Sarkeesian – For making awesome feminist video critiques. Also, thanks to loudmouths who hate her for making it very clear to me that I should avoid you. It’s good to know up-front you’re an asshole that I shouldn’t bother with, saves me so much time and energy.
- Bethany and Jennifer – For being totally cool with letting an idiot like me contribute to such a great gaming site with my inane rambling! [Eds. Note: Awww! ♥♥]
Hannah (who is currently in Korea visiting family) is thankful for:
- Portable games, such as Nintendo 3DS series and mobile games. My airline and train travels are not boring anymore!
Jennifer is thankful for:
- Bethany Bryan and her twisted amazing hilarious brain and her beautiful bottomless heart. Y’all know Bethany is the reason this website still exists, right? When I grew too weary of shouldering the burden on my own and nearly abandoned it, Bethany trekked out to find G-vesc and me lying lost and almost dead in the wasteland and carried us back out again (true story!!). If you enjoy reading Gamervescent, you should send her a card, or at least a Facebook wall post of naked Alistair. [Bethany Note: This seriously made me a little teary. You’re too much.]
- …and the rest of these jokers who contributed to this post and contribute regularly to this site. Luv u guysss, you are the best people who exist, seriously.
- And also the best person who does not (yet!) contribute to this site, my wonderful friend who works at GameStop and made sure my guy and I got a Deluxe Edition of Dragon Age Inquisition even though we didn’t pre-order it. That’s love, man.
- The vastly improved make-out physics in Dragon Age Inquisition’s romance cutscenes in comparison to those of previous DA games, dang!
- Troy Baker’s vocal cords.
- Admiral David Anderson’s never not hilarious workout plan.
- Jake Muller’s henley.
- Geometry Wars.
- The Riot Gun.
- Ghost Grant Collier, who watches over us all.
- Photoshop, god bless it.
Joe is thankful for:
- blocks that spit out mushrooms
- the Tanooki Suit
- Lon Lon Milk
- Adam Jensen’s dialogue in Deus Ex
- Dagoth Ur and the Sixth House
- that there are two Warthogs accessible in the beach level of Halo: Combat Evolved
- the eternal challenge of Trials HD
- the wrench of BioShock
- the combat tonics that improve wrench combat in BioShock
- the way Mario does flip jumps in the Tanooki Suit if you get a star
Justin is thankful for:
- that my birthday is so close to Thanksgiving I get a new game EVERY TIME
- [relevant to the above:] Bizarre Creations’ newest Geometry Wars 3!!! I LOVED the first two in the series and now in 3D? Let’s do this!
- Light bridges. When traveling becomes a bore, run across a bridge of pure light and try to complain – can’t.
- Yoshi plush toys. Because… this:
- Dragon Age Inquisition’s in-depth character creation! I have never been able to make a believable Asian character until the new DA came along with its healthy number of toggles and swatches! Yeah, Haeinous has whitish-blue hair and more face tats in DA than she does in real life, but still. THIS IS AMAZING!
Kaylan is thankful for:
- My boyfriend being patient with me whenever a new game I am super into is released.
- My poppa bear always asking what games I’m into now (even though I know he has no idea what I am talking about).
- That my friends understand how angry I get with multiplayer gaming and don’t bother me to join them.
- Those who keep creating amazing flash games that have deeper meaning and challenge my thinking.
- I am thankful for Gamervescent allowing me to geek out all over the place, as well as learning more about my friends and what gaming means to them. So thank you, loves! [Eds.: Awww, again! ♥♥♥]
- Happy Turkey Day!
Laura is thankful for:
- Cooperative games, because I love playing with my friends. My favourite evening is a Mario Party evening.
- Having enought money to play World of Warcraft every month. It is such a great game.
- I am thankful for the new versions of old games. Especially the Legend of Zelda games! Does anyone really have enough space for all the old consoles and the old games?
- The rainy days. They are the perfect excuse for a gaming day. We don’t have many of those in Madrid, so that makes it much more special.
- I am thankful for portable consoles. I used to have a Game Boy and it was huge, heavy, and the battery was shitty, so I couldn’t really play outside with it for a long time. Now I travel a lot and the Nintendo 3DS is perfect even for a 6-hour trip.
- Finally, I am so thankful for those who make walkthroughs of difficult games and share them online. You guys are heroes.
And we are ALL thankful for you wonderful weirdos who visit this site! Have a great Thanksgiving, dudes.
I posted a fictionalized account on Friday of my experiences going to GameStop. And afterwards my real boyfriend read it and said, “Do I really do that?”
So I wanted to take a few minutes to tell you the differences between the fictionalized version of my boyfriend in the story and my actual boyfriend, whose name is Mike and not “Boyfriend.” Here are the facts.
My favorite part of going to GameStop is when I remove MY PowerUp Rewards card from MY wallet and hand it to the cashier. And he turns to my boyfriend and asks him, “Did you want to use the points you’ve accumulated to pay for this?”
I just stand there smiling stupidly because that’s what I do. I just can’t ever make a decision! It’s so embarrassing. Points? What are those? I’m terrible at math. Is 85,000 points a lot?? How much is that in money?
What are you doing while you wait for the release of Dragon Age: Inquisition? Me? I’m waiting. And waiting. And waiting. I can’t even play other video games because all I want is Dragon Age: Inquisition, and everything else feels like a lame substitution, like when someone says, “Don’t eat that ice cream. Have this cup of plain yogurt instead to satisfy those dessert cravings.” It’s like, “SHUT UP, DOOFUS.” While we wait in the mutual agreement that waiting is a crock, let’s look at this collection of gifs you can use when someone asks you what you’re doing with your time prior to the release of Dragon Age: Inquisition.