Category Archives: Video Games

Lousy, Shoddy Fun

GODZILLA

Being a Godzilla fan for virtually my entire life has shaped me in a way that I’m only starting to become aware of in recent years. I prefer practical effects over CG. I don’t trust movie and videogame reviews all too much. While a lot of fans—especially in comics—obsess over continuity and timelines, Toho Studios never gave much of a damn about such things for most of the Godzilla movies, so I’ve learned not to care much either. Playing a perfectly designed videogame, reading a perfect comic, listening to a perfect album—all of that is awesome, when everything falls into place and works so well, looks and sounds slick, but…I don’t know. For some reason, that isn’t as appealing to me as something that isn’t quite so perfectly put together. I like seeing when mistakes are made. I like awkward translations, weird cuts, proportions that are somehow off. It feels more human to me. I can relate to it better as an imperfect artist and imperfect person myself. I like it when things get occasionally sloppy. Continue reading Lousy, Shoddy Fun

Theif

Screenshot 2015-08-20 12.12.48

Ed.: In accordance with Hannah’s wishes, we have refrained from copy editing her review of Thief.

thief 2014

Thief the game

With my short lived life as a gamer girl, I have not heard of the Thief (2014) before, until it was available for free for Xbox live gold members for 360 a few weeks ago. (I have to admit, even with my constant Elder Scrolls Online playing on Xbox One I still check back with good ol’ 360 for free games bi-monthly. Besides, there are way better free games for 360 than One, which is relatively new system and there aren’t as many “good” games that are out of season yet.) The almost monochromatic, mysterious cover art where the guy looks like the merchant from RE4 in his golden days. I knew I would be all in for this game. And who doesn’t secretly adore a shady pale guy covered in black eyeshadow that competes with your favorite raccoon of the backyard? As I’ve stated earlier, my gamer life is pretty new. I’ve never played any games seriously (watching my brother play Nintendo 64 and Sega back in the 90’s doesn’t count, unless it ever did) until the release of Skyrim (2011). I could go on about my first experience playing a console game seriously now and it would be funny to you but I am gonna save that for later where the story is more relative to what I’m writing. Back to our Thief talk, knowing my background, I did not know of the earlier games. All I knew was that I was going to enjoy this game VERY MUCH. Continue reading Theif

“Back at camp Sten is being a real misogynist,” Kaylan’s Dragon Age Epic Part 7

Previously: Kaylan’s Dragon Age Epic Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6

Shale, stuck

I decided to rest at camp BEFORE I go to the Circle of Magi to talk about my cute dwarven friend.

Wynne, what’s wrong? What do you mean you didn’t survive the tower? But you’re not undead? ….oh, you have a spirit in you. Bless it. We will make the best of your last days, buddy.

Gotta go find Oghren’s special lady friend. Thank you for realizing when you bang your lady it would be gross to think of me, Oghren.

IRVING I LOVE YOU SO MUCH THANK YOU FOR HELPING DAGNA!!!!! (I’ll tell her after I find Oghren’s lady frand.) Continue reading “Back at camp Sten is being a real misogynist,” Kaylan’s Dragon Age Epic Part 7

SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT

by Brett Marcus Cook

I bought Splatoon a few days after it came out. I’ve been playing it every night since, barring one or two days. I’ve been trying to write about it for a week now. I’m in love with this game and its world and I can’t figure out how to articulate it.

To start, I love the world that this game is built around. The title screen when you load the game is an empty bedroom, presumably belonging to your Inkling character (I chose to play as a girl, of course), with a map of the room on the gamepad’s screen and spots of ink indicating you’ve gone out. Inkopolis is this bustling, lively place where player characters hang around. Music blasts across the hub area from speakers set up in front of the building, which serves as the game’s multiplayer lobby. It feels like Tokyo­to from Jet Set Radio, or the way Shibuya was depicted in the World Ends With You, and I love that the music is actually a part of the world, that what you hear (some of it is known as “squidcore”) really is what everyone listens to in this particular ink­splattering game culture. Continue reading SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT

Lifeless Planet: Not Even a Little Bit Funny

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Lifeless is a funny word.

Obviously not in the context of a loved one floating facedown in a swimming pool.

Or crumpled at the bottom of a mansion staircase.

Or lying  in a hospital bed wearing a vacant expression as the beeps of the heart monitor grow more….and more…… f a r  a p a r t …until finally…BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP….and the doctor enters the room and says, “I’m calling it. Time of death: 4:53 PM. I’m really sorry, Mr. Johnson, but he’s gone.”

Continue reading Lifeless Planet: Not Even a Little Bit Funny

“This wrangling nugs thing is not so bad,” Kaylan’s Dragon Age Epic Part 6

Previously: Kaylan’s Dragon Age Epic Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

Leliana_and_Cute_Nug

Went back to the Dalish camp and saved the Halla. :)

I saved the Arl, he than made us his CHAMPIONS OF REDCLIFFE! booooyah

Poor Alistair doesn’t want to be a King but everyone is all, “be king, yo!”

Sorry Jowan you’re alive but now forced forever to live in the Tower of Magi. BUT YOU ARE ALIVE

Dwarves settle kingly matters with axes. Continue reading “This wrangling nugs thing is not so bad,” Kaylan’s Dragon Age Epic Part 6

5 Otome Games You Need to Check Out

I’m here to make a confession today: I love otome games.

Fine, if you read this site I’ll admit you’ve probably already figured that out by my series “Let’s Get it On,” but I’m mentioning this specifically because it’s super nerdy. Plus, although I sneer at my friend’s romance novels, I really have no room to talk here in my glass house. [Ed.: anyone who says they don’t live in a pink-tinted glass house of smut is lying or deluded, or perhaps just lives a sad, sad life (unless you’re asexual, you’re perfect and we heart you too)—official G-vesc position on romance ♥]

Otome games are also sometimes called dating sims and generally fall into the visual novel category. Visual novels tend to be extremely story-driven with the outcomes determined by the choices you make along a branching story route. Dating sims often have you scheduling your character’s time in order to raise specific stats by doing certain activities. While all three terms are often used interchangeably (by me at least), my definitions overlap more like rectangles and squares: all the otome games I’ve played are visual novels, but not all are dating sims.

As a quick peek at Wikipedia shows us, otome games are literally “girl games.” They’re aimed at a female audience and are evidently a fairly new genre. They’re most popular in Japan, but from what my personal anec-data show me, the genre is quickly gaining a bit of traction in the U.S. as well, and is especially popular with indie creators. I could go on with the stats, both real and imagined, but seriously just go read that article. It’s short and actually pretty interesting. Continue reading 5 Otome Games You Need to Check Out

the couple that games together…STAY AWAY FROM MY STUFF

love

Let’s start this out with a disclaimer:  I am super bad at sharing. Like, I once cried because my family tried to make me share my can of Pringles with my stepsister. So, I’m bad at sharing with anyone, and I like to play video games, and so does my husband. So we pretty much have two of every system now, except for the PS4, since that’s too expensive…right now.  (Not forever though. I will have my own!! *cue evil laughter*)

For a while, we were pretty broke and shared a PS2. I remember a lot of timing each other playing games and going, “No, it’s my turn now,” and spending plenty of time switching between whose turn it was to play Final Fantasy XII.  Eventually we got more hours at our jobs, and we ended up buying ourselves two PS3s, so we have separate setups for playing our games. His stuff is in the living room, and I have the Pink Room, which is dedicated to my stuff.  Continue reading the couple that games together…STAY AWAY FROM MY STUFF

An Incomplete List of Awful Things in Bloodborne

whatthefuckisthatthing

I had just fought my way through a rather dreary village made up of run­down shacks built from rotting wood. I made my way into a large barn, occupied with only one foe, not too different from the other pitchfork and axe-wielding ghoulish figures I’ve been cutting down for so much of this game. I started towards him, but when he noticed me, something weird happened. He groaned, clutching his head. Before I could take the time to speculate what his problem was, his head exploded, with perhaps a dozen venomous snakes emerging from what remained of his neck.

The biggest snake of the bunch lashed out from quite a distance, poisoning me. Before I could use an antidote, I was struck by more of them, quickly dying. Continue reading An Incomplete List of Awful Things in Bloodborne

Life is Strange Episode 1: Totally Angsty Teenager

life is strange

I reached an epiphany about a month into gaming with my deliciously relevant PlayStation 4, and it was pretty depressing. I crunched the numbers—since the new Batman and Star Wars: Battlefront are coming out, and shit, I still haven’t played Inquisition, and Until Dawn looks freaking spectacular—and oh yeah, I basically realized I can’t afford AAA game titles.

I am a grown-ass woman, and making what I make at my full-time job, I cannot afford AAA game titles. I have bills to pay, cats to feed, a roof to keep over my head, yadda yadda yadda—and yet, I do feel the pressing need to be on the edge of entertainment, to keep up with the newest must-play games, to have relevant opinions OK, that living organisms outside of the two furry ones I shovel shit for will actually want to hear.

The solution? Indie games! Apparently they’re a thing on consoles now, too!

(A/N: For everyone’s safety, just assume I’m a time-traveling Martian who hasn’t really touched a console since 2002, and you will understand my dumbshit excitement about things like independent games being sold digitally or streaming television on my gaming system so much better.) Continue reading Life is Strange Episode 1: Totally Angsty Teenager