Category Archives: Video Games

Today We Give Thanks

ocarina party

Bethany is thankful for:

 

Brett is thankful for:

  • Nintendo – I bought a Wii U in March. A month or so later, so did one of my best friends. Then our other best friend bought one when he came in from Korea for the summer. We reunited with an old friend from school last weekend, crammed into my room, playing Smash Bros and Mario Kart while reminiscing. I haven’t really gotten excited for games in a long time, only buying one or two things a year for a while now, but the Wii U really reinvigorated me, and I’m so happy that my closest friends own one too so that we can all play and laugh with one another, even if one of us is currently in another country. And if we aren’t playing together, we’re usually sending obscene messages to each other in the Miiverse. Nothing says friendship like crudely drawn penises, right?
  • Anita Sarkeesian – For making awesome feminist video critiques. Also, thanks to loudmouths who hate her for making it very clear to me that I should avoid you. It’s good to know up-front you’re an asshole that I shouldn’t bother with, saves me so much time and energy.
  • Bethany and Jennifer – For being totally cool with letting an idiot like me contribute to such a great gaming site with my inane rambling! [Eds. Note: Awww! ♥♥]

 

Hannah (who is currently in Korea visiting family) is thankful for:

  • Portable games, such as Nintendo 3DS series and mobile games. My airline and train travels are not boring anymore!

 

Jennifer is thankful for:

  • Bethany Bryan and her twisted amazing hilarious brain and her beautiful bottomless heart. Y’all know Bethany is the reason this website still exists, right? When I grew too weary of shouldering the burden on my own and nearly abandoned it, Bethany trekked out to find G-vesc and me lying lost and almost dead in the wasteland and carried us back out again (true story!!). If you enjoy reading Gamervescent, you should send her a card, or at least a Facebook wall post of naked Alistair. [Bethany Note: This seriously made me a little teary. You’re too much.]
  • …and the rest of these jokers who contributed to this post and contribute regularly to this site. Luv u guysss, you are the best people who exist, seriously.
  • And also the best person who does not (yet!) contribute to this site, my wonderful friend who works at GameStop and made sure my guy and I got a Deluxe Edition of Dragon Age Inquisition even though we didn’t pre-order it. That’s love, man.
  • The vastly improved make-out physics in Dragon Age Inquisition’s romance cutscenes in comparison to those of previous DA games, dang!
  • Troy Baker’s vocal cords.
  • Admiral David Anderson’s never not hilarious workout plan.
  • Jake Muller’s henley.
  • Geometry Wars.
  • The Riot Gun.
  • Ghost Grant Collier, who watches over us all.
  • Photoshop, god bless it.

 

Joe is thankful for:

  • blocks that spit out mushrooms
  • the Tanooki Suit
  • bananas
  • barrels
  • Lon Lon Milk
  • Adam Jensen’s dialogue in Deus Ex
  • Dagoth Ur and the Sixth House
  • that there are two Warthogs accessible in the beach level of Halo: Combat Evolved
  • the eternal challenge of Trials HD
  • the wrench of BioShock
  • the combat tonics that improve wrench combat in BioShock
  • the way Mario does flip jumps in the Tanooki Suit if you get a star

 

Justin is thankful for:

  • that my birthday is so close to Thanksgiving I get a new game EVERY TIME
  • [relevant to the above:] Bizarre Creations’ newest Geometry Wars 3!!! I LOVED the first two in the series and now in 3D? Let’s do this!
  • Light bridges. When traveling becomes a bore, run across a bridge of pure light and try to complain – can’t. lightbridge
  • Yoshi plush toys. Because… this: yoshis
  • Dragon Age Inquisition’s in-depth character creation! I have never been able to make a believable Asian character until the new DA came along with its healthy number of toggles and swatches! Yeah, Haeinous has whitish-blue hair and more face tats in DA than she does in real life, but still. THIS IS AMAZING! IMG_1350

 

Kaylan is thankful for:

  • My boyfriend being patient with me whenever a new game I am super into is released.
  • My poppa bear always asking what games I’m into now (even though I know he has no idea what I am talking about).
  • That my friends understand how angry I get with multiplayer gaming and don’t bother me to join them.
  • Those who keep creating amazing flash games that have deeper meaning and challenge my thinking.
  • I am thankful for Gamervescent allowing me to geek out all over the place, as well as learning more about my friends and what gaming means to them. So thank you, loves! [Eds.: Awww, again! ♥♥♥]
  • Happy Turkey Day!

 

Laura is thankful for:

  • Cooperative games, because I love playing with my friends. My favourite evening is a Mario Party evening.
  • Having enought money to play World of Warcraft every month. It is such a great game.
  • I am thankful for the new versions of old games. Especially the Legend of Zelda games! Does anyone really have enough space for all the old consoles and the old games?
  • The rainy days. They are the perfect excuse for a gaming day. We don’t have many of those in Madrid, so that makes it much more special.
  • I am thankful for portable consoles. I used to have a Game Boy and it was huge, heavy, and the battery was shitty, so I couldn’t really play outside with it for a long time. Now I travel a lot and the Nintendo 3DS is perfect even for a 6-hour trip.
  • Finally, I am so thankful for those who make walkthroughs of difficult games and share them online. You guys are heroes.

 

And we are ALL thankful for you wonderful weirdos who visit this site! Have a great Thanksgiving, dudes.

Perfect Organism

by Brett Marcus Cook

I can only play Alien: Isolation for an hour or two at a time, once every couple of days usually. And when I do play it, I have a hard time sleeping at night. It isn’t necessarily because of how scary and stressful the game can get, although that is part of it given that I now jolt at every little sound I hear. It’s just that, once I’ve played it a little bit, I spend the rest of the day being unable to think about anything else. Not even Taylor Swift’s brilliant new music video can stop it. It may be a bit of a problem.

For one thing, it’s impossible for me to predict what’s going to happen in this game. First, there are the other people stranded on the Sevastopol with you. Some of them will shoot you on sight without a moment’s notice. Others will yell at you to back off and, if you listen and do so, will leave you alone after that. I hid under an operating table as a man whose partners I’d witnessed the Alien murder came into the room, gun drawn, shouting “I know you’re in here, I just want to talk!” I had no idea if he really wanted to talk or if he was going to kill me for letting his friends die. I didn’t have much time to think about it either, as a big problem with shouting is that you give away your position to the Alien, and, well, the Alien is obsessed with killing. Continue reading

So…About My Actual Boyfriend

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I posted a fictionalized account on Friday of my experiences going to GameStop. And afterwards my real boyfriend read it and said, “Do I really do that?”

So I wanted to take a few minutes to tell you the differences between the fictionalized version of my boyfriend in the story and my actual boyfriend, whose name is Mike and not “Boyfriend.” Here are the facts.

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Casual Sexism Isn’t Stupid. I’m Stupid.

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Am I doing this right? Help.

My favorite part of going to GameStop is when I remove MY PowerUp Rewards card from MY wallet and hand it to the cashier. And he turns to my boyfriend and asks him, “Did you want to use the points you’ve accumulated to pay for this?”

I just stand there smiling stupidly because that’s what I do. I just can’t ever make a decision! It’s so embarrassing. Points? What are those? I’m terrible at math. Is 85,000 points a lot?? How much is that in money?

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The Countdown to Dragon Age: Inquisition

dai

What are you doing while you wait for the release of Dragon Age: Inquisition? Me? I’m waiting. And waiting. And waiting. I can’t even play other video games because all I want is Dragon Age: Inquisition, and everything else feels like a lame substitution, like when someone says, “Don’t eat that ice cream. Have this cup of plain yogurt instead to satisfy those dessert cravings.” It’s like, “SHUT UP, DOOFUS.” While we wait in the mutual agreement that waiting is a crock, let’s look at this collection of gifs you can use when someone asks you what you’re doing with your time prior to the release of Dragon Age: Inquisition.

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A Little Shout Out to the Neglected

Pssssssssssssssssst hey! Hey, you! The social gamer over there, yeah you. Calm down. I’m not here to insult you. I just want you to know that you’re one of us whether you know that or not. You are one of the ultimate grinders. I envy that dedication and patience. Maybe you are a secret architect building away.

That is a lot of dedication. I had 12 floors and gave up. You go!

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A Cell Phone and the search for Leviathan

The time has come, the time is now: the return of CELL PHONE PHOTOS OF MASS EFFECT is happening!!! And I ain’t even sorry for the Insta-spam, nice people who follow me on IG; James Vega looks better than I’ve ever seen him in cell-phone-pic-of-a-TV-screen close-up.

Allow me to present a very blue soap opera in photos entitled:

Joely Shepard and the Shiny Orbs, or,

What Jennifer Saw in the Mass Effect 3 Leviathan DLC

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Screen Shot 2014-11-10 at 2.42.01 PMScreen Shot 2014-11-10 at 2.41.50 PM Continue reading