Hi! My name is Kevin Copenhaver and one of the few things I love more than video games is key lime pie. (That, however, has nothing to do with this article, I just really love it. ) I also love telling my fiancée how awesome games I played are. I usually do this with crazy-eyed stares and ridiculous run-on sentences. This got me to thinking: shouldn’t EVERYONE be able to experience my love of games the same way she does? Doesn’t each and every man, woman, child, animal, sea monster, dragon, and sting chameleon deserve to have a game summed up for them in one long, run-on sentence that manages to stay below 500 words?
Say you are at a party and everyone starts talking about a game—that unsettling feeling that sets in when you realize you are the ONLY person who hasn’t played it. You start to sweat as they tell tales of woe and bosses you’ve never even heard of. Your stomach starts to churn; your vision blurs. You cannot even figure out what genre the game is! As you start panting and convulsing on the floor your friends laugh and begin kicking you, gaily chanting, “You’ve never played Vagrant Story, you’ve never played Vagrant Story!” and, “You even game, brah(-sephina)?!” Moments like that ruin lives.
Sometimes life is unfair and these stupid “responsibilities” get in the way of the important things like gaming, and eating. These recaps will save you from a lifetime of humiliation. You may not have played the game, you may not even understand the finer details, but if you stick it out for 500 words or less, you will at least be able to pretend you know what you are talking about.
And now, for our first installment…
Too Busy; Didn’t Play: THE BANNER SAGA