Dragon Age Inquisition Is So Gay Friendly That IT’S ALIENATING STRAIGHT PEOPLE

lemongrab

STOP THE PRESSES.

I was going through the comments on Gamervescent, as I tend to do on a Monday night, and deleting all the ones offering me great deals on “fendi peekaboo” or “parajumpers sale.” And I came across one comment on our recent post about Dragon Age Inquisition hairstyles. This comment told me some things. BIG THINGS. Things I’d never thought about before.

According to this comment, the gay- and transgender-friendly atmosphere of Dragon Age Inquisition is actually ALIENATING straight people.

WHAT? I’m straight and I’m so, so scared right now that I’ve gone down into my bunker to finish writing this.

Is this true? I did some investigating, and it turns out that a lot of people are really talking about this. Apparently there are only two romance options for straight guys, Cassandra and Josephine. And some guys don’t want to get it on with a warrior lady or some chick who prefers clipboards to taking off her top. They want MORE OPTIONS. I get it.

So I did more investigating. Here’s what I’ve got.

Straight male options: Cassandra, Josephine

Straight female options: Blackwall, Iron Bull, Cullen, Solas

Gay male options: Iron Bull, Dorian

Gay female options: Josephine, Sera

You read that correctly. There are two options for gay men and women as well. GAY PEOPLE ARE AS OPPRESSED AS STRAIGHT MEN. WHAT?

WHAAAAAAAAT?

According to my calculations, straight women (who received four romance options) are actually the world’s oppressors. So, there you go. I guess straight men and gay people (and anyone else whose romantic needs were not met by Dragon Age Inquisition) will be banding together any time now to bring us, the straight women, down. Good thing I’m already in the bunker.

I deleted the comment, btw.

11 thoughts on “Dragon Age Inquisition Is So Gay Friendly That IT’S ALIENATING STRAIGHT PEOPLE”

  1. Not to mention how trans friendly it is, too! THANK BIOWARE FOR KREM!!! He probably is the first and only transgender in mainstream video games… My character was so ignorant so I only had options to ask prying/offensive questions but he answered so wonderfully without getting upset about it. I think he could be the gate way to many gamers who don’t understand transgenders to learn about what being born a trans is like. Love this game!!!

  2. Oh, and yeah, I am straight. But all this makes me happier and more attached to the game. I don’t know what some people mean by alienated. Pah!

  3. I am waiting until I get my Nvidia GTX 780 before I play DA:I. Then I will have more opinions. Being a straight male who plays gay female characters though, I must say my options seem pretty decent.

  4. Hvan’t played yet but I had heard about the romance options a while ago, and i was so happy about Cullen (awww yeah) and was also thinking about romancing the Iron Bull (!) who seems to be into BDSM and includes a hilarius scene. I had actually though if i ever played a male inquisitor i would romance Sera but apparently i can’t. Can’t say it maks me feel ‘alienated’ though. Yes I am a straight girl. And most of all i am against all kinds of discrimination. So i think it’s a good thing other people’s sexuality stops being a taboo bit by bit. Maybe we can as a society start being more open to other people’s identity without judging especially since it’s none of our business. Ok i stop blabling now. I hadn’t noticed that ‘the men are as oppressed as the gay people’ nor had i read the ‘alienating’ comments and I have to say, well put, i teared up laughing. Reminds me of all that ‘menimism’ movement that’s actually hilarious, and it’s a kick in the butt of all those misogynist gamers (that unforunately are not all men). Something I also liked is that some of the romance options seem to have racial preferences aside from sexual ones. eg Solas is only interested in female elves. I have to say this makes the game all the more realistic – and i’m not sure if it counts as racism, since it’s only about romance… Anyway! I really like the options anyway and can’t wait to play!

  5. The issue is that Cassandra and Josephine look like men, it’s not really a viable option for straight male gamers. In origins leiliana and morrigan were both attractive companions and they clearly looked female. In dragon age 2 isabella and Merrill clearly looked female, isabella being hot and lustfilled while merrill with the whole cute and naive angle. In inquisition cassandra and josephine are beastly “man women”. That is why straight male gamers feel alienated.

    1. Maybe you need to broaden your horizons then. Sometimes you walk into a party and there aren’t any women you’re attracted to. That’s how the Lembas bread crumbles sometimes.

    2. The issue isn’t that Cassandra and Josephine “look like men”, or are not attractive (they are gorgeous in my opinion, and I’ve seen and heard PLENTY of other Straight Male Gamers call them both hot), the real issue, I think, is that they are both very powerful women, in different ways. That could be threatening for some Straight Male Gamers, I get that, lol. The problem is not that they are “man women”, it’s that they are NOT “hot and lustfilled” or “cute and naive” or wearing revealing clothes. They don’t fit into the tiny little box of what many SMGs think women should be. Too bad for you, huh? hahaha

  6. If neither Cassandra nor Josephine seem attractice, why not just make the most beautiful woman you can and have he go after who ever? I don’t know, my inquisitor is freaking beautiful. Haha. I was overly happy with inquisition, I only wish there were more romance options in general, we still haven’t seen a female dwarf romance option, Dagna or Scout Harding both would have been awesome. Harding had a soft face, so sweet. Oh well. Maybe DA4.

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