Kaylan Loves Being Underwater

After entering Fontaine Futuristics, I am met with a recording by Gil Alexander. That dude Sinclair (You would think I trusted him by now. The answer is NOPE.) informs me that Gil was involved in Big Daddy research. So I get super excited. I want to know all I can. I get to go back underwater for a little bit, which is one of my favorite areas to explore. I think it’s the prettiest part of Rapture. The bright coral and little ADAM slugs. It’s peaceful, and now and again you glimpse a Big Sister swimming around. They sure are graceful for such killing machines. Schools of fish swimming around ruins. It’s my favorite place.

So pretty! I could wander here forever, but I have things to do!

Some bot starts flying around with a video. I have no idea what it’s saying to me. I think it’s part of the story, but legit it’s too filled with static for me to understand. All I know is shooting electricity at it was a waste of Eve, and I was soon in a battle against a fucking Houdini. After I battle a few Splicers, Sinclair explains to me that it was that Gil dude and he’s not batshit cray cray. Which may also be why I didn’t understand anything. Thanks, Sinclair, you shady shady dude. I start to wonder what Mark is up to. I wonder if he’s found Cindy yet. Why is that such a sporadic storyline? It seems important, but most of the time no one is talking about it and I’m just left over here like, “Well… do I get anything more for this? Will I ever know?” I will be annoyed if nothing comes of it. That bot comes back speaking nonsense again. I have no idea what’s going on by this point. A Big Daddy that looks like me shows up. I kill it, and it says it’s an Alpha Series. These versions are ugly. The Mr. Bubbles design was way better. Nothing intriguing about a dude in a steampunk diver suit.

Nice barnacles.
I get another message from the sane version of Gil. I like him. I am very sorry he is now insane and sends robots to just fly around me buzzing nothingness that I can’t understand. I think Gil and I could have been friends. I’m impressed with his forethought. He knew he was going to go crazy and so he made sure to supply someone with information on how to defeat his crazy self. To me that makes him a  good man. 🙁 I’m sad now.

The only thing at this point I have understood from the Great Alexander was him stating I was company property. I AM NO ONE’S PROPERTY. Well I mean I guess I was… but not anymore! Now I have to shut down his overide. Eventually I get most of the shutdowns, and get caged by the Great Alex in a battle royale with Houdinis and an Alpha. Which has made me not a happy Delta Daddy. It also sounds like I may have been a Splicer druggie before they shoved me in my suit. So there is that… But who knows I don’t really understand what the bot keeps saying.


As I proceed to find Crazy Gil I, through diaries, start to learn that Sophia Lamb had Gil do something terrible to himself. It sounds a lot like what she she keeps rambling about Eleanor… But I’m gathering this is her failed experiment, which is making me more and more nervous of what I’m going to find. What state is Gil in now besides unimaginable insanity? Back in the water I go. Whilst wandering I accidentally fall in a hole leading me to my next destination. Sometimes my clumsiness is helpful. Finding a secret lab was much easier than it should have been.  Like how hard were you trying to disguise it? Is it a joke I’m not in on? Seriously, villains. Uh, that…that place is really dark… I don’t want to go in it. So after about 5 minutes of psyching myself up, I apologize for mocking the secret lab because the real deterrent is that shit is a dark hallway and if I didn’t have to I wouldn’t go in.

Well at least there are flowers? This place gives me the hebbies and some jeebies too.
 It’s dark because the light hurts Gil’s eyes now. That’s a giant red flag of a NOPE. I’m not excited about this. I don’t like the dark. I don’t like it. I don’t. Through this finding circuit breakers part there is a lot of Kaylan trying to psych herself up. Along with “please nothing jump out at me…please…please.” I find a diary after the power is finally turned on that broke my heart. It was about Big Daddies, the Alpha version kneeling at a Gatherer’s Garden crying. I’m guessing Little Sisters weren’t fond of this model and they were lonely? Gosh darn it, that’s fucking heartbreaking.
Big Daddies and Little Sisters need each other.
 Sinclair soon informs me that Big Daddies whose Little Sisters are taken by Splicers just scream. Which sadly reminds me of fucking Blackfish. The part where the Momma Whales just go into a corner and wail after their babies are taken from them. UGHHHHHHHHH. As I murder Anastasia’s (my new Little Sister) Big Daddy I remind myself that it’s better if he doesn’t survive the kidnapping. After spending forever gathering ADAM Flower thingies, finding the last Sister, and naming her Cora, I accidently put her in a vent before I’m ready because I have trigger happy hands and was trying to grab a diary. Here comes big Sister. We do the normal “Please Don’t Kill Me” song and dance. Without much left I head to Gil. Now I’m getting pretty nervous because I really don’t like the way there experiments sounded and am ever hopeful I won’t have to see what he looks like. Nice Gil begs me to kill him. This time I will follow through, because I like nice Gil and this thing is a monstrosity. I did it. I felt awful because it was begging to live outside. But I didn’t trust that idea. I find a new airlock and proceed onwards. To find Eleanor. Hopefully I will discover Mark and see if he ever got to save Cindy. SERIOUSLY, WHY IS THIS NOT TALKED ABOUT MORE?

Till next time.

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