“Poor blood mage. I’ll free you!” Kaylan’s Dragon Age Epic Part 4

Previously: Kaylan’s Dragon Age Epic Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Yup, Jenn was right: this dude [Zevran] has no shame. We have talked once and he’s now offering to sex me up.

Oh god if you agree to a massage he says, “A willing victim presents itself.” Calling me a victim isn’t sexy man, the more you know

Yup I’m gonna commit to Alistair now.

rejection

Redcliffe has been a whole lot of me running errands…listening to sexual harassment claims…and watching Alistair love on my dog and give it pep talks.

whew battle time, FINALLY

I wanted fighting and I got it! I played as Mordin [Käylæn’s mabari] the whole time and mauled my enemies.

Who is this fancy-voiced Isolde lady? Aww Alistair seemed sad she didn’t greet him. Alistair, this an emergency. She’s busy.

oooooo she’s a mom.

ooooohhhh Teagan you and I are on the same page with the sneaky attacks.

Are you flirting with me, Teagan? Ooolalalaaaa, I feel so popular in this game!

SO popular

I am an asshole; I sent the doomsayer to bother the soldiers with his rantings.

Poor blood mage. I’ll free you! [Ed. note: Kaylan…..]

He [Jowan] seems sincere. Don’t poison more kids! Sneaky Isolde hiding her son’s potential.

It may be the son [Connor]…hmmmm, the mystery thickens! Okay I’ll free you… STOP TELLING ME WHAT TO DO, ALISTAIR. WE AREN’T MARRIED

After every battle I just make out with Alistair; it’s become a good luck thing.

YEAH FOUND THE SMITHY’S DAUGHTER! Hope she makes it out alive.

Eww gross, Connor the kid is possessed. Oh and feeds elves to dogs, great. He reminds me of the Twilight Zone kid, “to the cornfield”

possessed, man

Uhhhh Teagan, you okay bro? Oh man, Connor is for real cornfield kid.

what, I don’t want to fight Teagan

Oh he’s okay guys; I knocked him around some but he’s good now.

HEY IT’S MY MAGE FRIEND! [Ed. note: blood mage friend] Hey, stop yelling at my friend, Isolde. You hid this away; stop blaming others!

Man, Teagan is super reasonable. Thanks for having my back on how your sis-in-law keeping her son’s abilities secret was a terrible idea.

I HAVE TO SACRIFICE SOMEONE ALL FUCKIN’ READY?!!

I am going to try and recruit the stupid mages to save stupid Isolde. Sooo off to that tower.

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