Give Epona a vulgar name in The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess. It’ll pay off near the end of the game when, thanks to inconveniently located Horse Grass and the ability to run around as a mother-effin’ wolf, you’ve forgotten that Epona even exists and it surprises you when she turns up again.

If you name her “yo [four-letter body part],” you will also have an early opportunity to see Ilia say, “I washed yo **** for you!” and laugh and laugh like the 12-year-old you are inside.

"Epona." Heh.

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