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Half-Life 2 Diary, Round-Up

Alyx Vance, Gordon FreemanDear Half-Life 2 Diary,

…at least I’m consistent. Just like every time I’ve started a real-life diary, I had great intentions. I was going to write something after every notable event! I was going to record every thought and experience, and save it to give to my imaginary future grandchildren when I’m 80. And just like every time I’ve started a real-life diary, I wrote a detailed first entry, wrote a belated second catch-up entry (complete with apologies for lateness), and then abandoned the project to occasionally remember it later with a twinge of guilt later.

But YOU, Half-Life 2 Diary, will be different! So I didn’t keep up with you. Cry me a river. I’m still going to bring some closure to this thing, chapter by chapter. Including the stuff we’ve already covered! You’re my diary; I can do what I want.

Point Insertion

I enjoy harassing the Combine guards before they can do real damage to me. I hate City 17. I can’t figure out where I’m supposed to go. Help me, Gamefaqs! Thank the Combine that’s over with. Heeeey, Alyx! You’re pretty.

“A Red Letter Day”

Suit! Kleiner! Alyx! Barney, quit whining. Where’s that beer you were talking about, anyway? I don’t want to know what happened to the cat. Lamarr is adorable! I want a plush Lamarr. Shit, this isn’t going to end well, is it? A crowbar’s better than a beer anyway, Barney. I still can’t figure out where I’m supposed to go. Stupid trains. Continue reading

Why Jennifer needs to finish playing Half-Life 2

They're waiting for you, Jennifer.Half-Life 2 is so super awesome, it makes my face melt. So, when I finished playing it recently (and Episodes 1 and 2), I promptly went back and played through the whole thing again just because I wanted to relive the entire experience.

But I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know. You played through it ages ago and are already aware that Half-Life 2 is the best. But, just between us, you know who doesn’t? My friend Jennifer Culp. SHHHHH! Just be cool. Don’t let on that we’re talking about her. Continue reading