Tag Archives: BioShock 2

Kaylan Finishes BioShock 2: IT WAS MY FAVORITE

The thrilling conclusion to Kaylan’s BioShock 2 Play Diary!! Need to catch up? Check out Part 1Part 2Part 3.

I thought I had gotten lost in the ocean, but I hadn’t I was just a silly goose; finally I checked my map after too embarrassingly long to admit. Once I got back on track I placed my key in the AirLock Access Plant and realized I had found the ACTUAL secret base. Now I’m not so disappointed. I take back everything I said last time about the hiding skills. Immediately I find a diary revealing more shitty parenting by Sofia Lamb. I don’t understand how you could experiment on your own baby. I mean, I’m just saying. The similarities between Eleanor Lamb and Elizabeth Comstock are interesting. Both of these poor girls were basically abused by their parental figures for a “Greater Good,” a “Utopia,” and that is fucked up. Also they were raised by bonded half-man-half-machine creatures. Songbird and Delta seem to care more for the wellbeing and survival of these two women more than their parents even cared to attempt.

There is love here.
There is love here.

I mean, it’s kind of fitting that Lamb is keeping Eleanor in a Prison Hospital, considering she’s always treated her daughter like a captive instead of her child. I wonder does she even love her? Does anyone else ever wonder these things when they play games? If she does love her, does she just love her ideals more? HEARTFUCKINGBREAKING. Continue reading Kaylan Finishes BioShock 2: IT WAS MY FAVORITE

Kaylan Loves Being Underwater

After entering Fontaine Futuristics, I am met with a recording by Gil Alexander. That dude Sinclair (You would think I trusted him by now. The answer is NOPE.) informs me that Gil was involved in Big Daddy research. So I get super excited. I want to know all I can. I get to go back underwater for a little bit, which is one of my favorite areas to explore. I think it’s the prettiest part of Rapture. The bright coral and little ADAM slugs. It’s peaceful, and now and again you glimpse a Big Sister swimming around. They sure are graceful for such killing machines. Schools of fish swimming around ruins. It’s my favorite place.

So pretty! I could wander here forever, but I have things to do!

Continue reading Kaylan Loves Being Underwater

Kaylan Continues to Get Lost and Name Little Sisters

Where we last left off, I had saved as I entered Dionysus Park and some dude named Stanley Poole is wanting to cut me some sort of deal. Basically, I began thinking, “I don’t trust you. You’re a bad person.” While wandering around I discovered a diary that helped ease some confusion for me. There is some dude named Mark, and he has a daughter named Cindy who seems to have become a Little Sister and he wants to rescue her. So, mystery solved. Now I can calm down because I did not make that up. After finding Poole locked away, I decide I hate him even more because he wants me to “deal with” the Little Sisters in exchange for train safe passage. Why? Because they can send memories to Lamb. Memories of what, though, I began to wonder as I wandered. This area is where I run into Houdini Splicers. My thoughts: fuck them I hate them.

Continue reading Kaylan Continues to Get Lost and Name Little Sisters

Big Daddy Love


Would you kindly take a moment to let me get something off my chest?

I’ve been replaying BioShock and have come to the conclusion that I hate killing Big Daddies. Not because of the difficulty (though I won’t lie, it’s never been my strong point), and even before Burial At Sea made it troublingly heart-wrenching; I just always found them to be endearing and sad.

 Big Daddy has a lumbering gentleness when it comes to the Little Sisters. I’m awkwardly protective of the Little Sisters myself; I could never bring myself to harvest them. The relationship between the two fascinated me—something so large and potentially dangerous following a giggling child around like a lap-dog. It felt weirdly hopeful. In this world of violence, bathed in psychosis and blood, I admired their bond. Sometime I found myself stalking them, hiding just out of sight to watch their interactions. Sure, Mr. Bubbles is dangerous, but not towards Little Sister. JUST THE FACT THAT SHE CALLS HIM MR. BUBBLES. Her mourning when he has fallen, “Please get up, Mr. Bubbles! Please!

 I can’t even… Ugh.

 Fighting with Big Daddy is the hardest battle I’ve faced in any game. As I write this I’m currently downloading BioShock 2, which I’ve never played (late to the game, so to speak). I am pretty excited to see Rapture through the viewpoint of a Big Daddy, especially since I won’t be the one trying to slay him.

Sweet, beautiful Kaylan is going to FREAK when she starts getting to tote around Little Sisters of her very own in BioShock 2.

Dramaturgy: BioShock Infinite


Note: I’m not 100% sure if I’m using the term “dramaturgy” correctly here. I learned it from Chris Braak, who writes cool ones about stuff like Wonder Woman punching tanks and tearing George S. Patton’s guns in half for Threat Quality Press. I am using it here to indicate that I feel the plot of BioShock Infinite is flawed and talk about the ways I, personally, would go about fixing it. Is restructuring/reworking the plot of a video game a dramaturgical undertaking?

ETA: Now I know! Braak: “The word ‘dramaturgery’ is a word that I made up, it’s a portmanteu of ‘dramaturgy’ and ‘surgery,’ and refers specifically to the thing that I do when I rewrite the plot of a movie in order to correct what I perceive are either errors or just places where the idea isn’t very clear in the dramatic structure of the story.”

Screen Shot 2014-09-12 at 2.24.20 PM

Note 2: I would make an absolutely appalling video game critic, for several reasons. Firstly, my brain doesn’t really function effectively at the speed of internet. When I first play something, particularly a game I’ve been eagerly anticipating, my response is basically, “IT GAVE ME ADRENALINE FEELS, IT IS THE GREATEST THING THAT HAS EVER BEEN CREATED BY MAN!!!” Maybe I’m selling myself a little (little) short with that characterization, in hindsight some of my initial post-playthrough responses don’t come off as fangirlish as I was expecting, but the point stands. So that’s why you’re getting thoughts on BioShock Infinite now, because I’m thinking about it now.

Note 3: If you are a delicate reader, please turn back now, because my main thought on the game at this point is… Continue reading Dramaturgy: BioShock Infinite

Reasons Jennifer Needs to Play Through Minerva’s Den


A lot of people tell me I like to sit on high and impose my will upon others. “That’s utterly ridiculous!” I tell them from atop my solid gold replica of the throne from Game of Thrones. “I don’t even have a will. I plan to leave my fortune to Simon, my micro pig.” But despite my protests, I’ve been told that perhaps I should tone down how I recommend video games to people and “try harder to be relatable.” Therefore, I will not mention my vast fortune in this post. I will not tell you about any of the opulent things I’ve spent it on, such as my Optimus Prime automaton. And I certainly won’t talk about how luck follows me everywhere I go, showering me with the kind of happiness that only having everything I could ever want can bring.

I’ll just go right into talking about how my friend Jennifer Culp has not yet played the BioShock 2 DLC Minerva’s Den and the reasons she totally needs to. Because Minerva’s Den is utterly glorious and worth the $9.99 I spent to download it.

Without further delay, here are the reasons Jennifer needs to drop everything and play Minerva’s Den.

1. It’s utterly glorious and worth the $9.99 you spend to download it. Full disclosure, I would have spent $999 to download it. But not because I’m ridiculously wealthy or anything.

2. The final battle of Minerva’s Den is the final battle we deserved at the end of BioShock 2. Let’s be honest. The end of BioShock 2 was nothing surprising. You fend off a bunch of Brute Splicers and Big Daddies while trying to help Eleanor escape. Blah. It’s fun, but arguably anticlimactic, especially in a second or third playthrough. Minerva’s Den, however, finishes in that challenging and extremely satisfying way where the credits start to roll and you set down your controller at the end and say, “That’ll do, controller. That’ll do.” And then smash beer cans and do your touchdown dance or whatever it is people who are not wealthy do.

3. The twist at the end was unexpected. BioShock is a game franchise known for its surprises. Atlas is Frank Fontaine. Booker is Comstock. Soilent Green is people. (IT’S PEOPLLLLLLE.) Without giving anything away, I will say that this was unique, and I liked it.

4. You get a pretty cool new weapon and a new plasmid. Because Minerva’s Den is a self-contained unit, it follows that they will have technology that is slightly different. Therefore, we get LASERS. I’ll say that word again. LASERS. The Ion Laser quickly became my go-to weapon as I played through Minerva’s Den. We also get the Gravity Well plasmid, which is ridiculously fun. I didn’t even get mad when I botched my use of it five times in a row and accidentally Gravity Welled some corpses. Not that I normally find tossing corpses around willy-nilly to be an enjoyable pastime. People hunting, yes. Corpse tossing, no.

5. This is actually a spoiler, so I am labeling it SPOILER so that you will know not to read on. Are you reading on? Suit yourself. The protagonist in Minerva’s Den is a man of color. How often does this happen in video games? Is “never” accurate? As we learn in the aforementioned twist ending, Charles Milton Porter is Subject Sigma. Charles Milton Porter is African American. Subject Sigma is African American. How cool is that? (You have to play the game to find out his story. I’m not telling you.)

6. Minerva’s Den has a generally happy ending, whether or not you save or harvest the Little Sisters. AND here’s another spoiler, so stop reading right now, you glutton for punishment: You finally get to stand face to face, sans partition, with Brigid Tenenbaum for the first time.

So, there you have it. My reasons for playing Minerva’s Den ASAP. I will leave you now and go back to what I was doing, which was definitely not flying around the grounds of my estate in a tiny rocket ship.

Thoughts on BioShock Infinite

Lutece and Lutece


Note: I have done very little research on other people’s ideas and hypotheses about this game. Everything below is transcribed directly from the rattlings in my own brain. If you’ve finished the game, get yourself chattin’ in the comments section, because I want to talk about this stuff. Continue reading Thoughts on BioShock Infinite

Break-ups, Make-ups

Break-ups Make-ups

Dragon Age 2

You were so promising at the start. I thought I could love you even more than your predecessor. But I got tired of fighting the same bandits in the same areas of the same city constantly and then, when you did that thing to my (in-game) mom? I keep you around and insist I’ll replay someday, but I just don’t know if we’ll be able to work that out.

Alan Wake

Dammit, Alan Wake. I thought you’d be a delightful scare, but all you gave me was frustration and confusion. I didn’t enjoy the combat much, and didn’t enjoy the plot and setting enough to keep plugging away at it. Sorry.

Brütal Legend

Tim Schafer! A million cameos from metal musicians! Jack Black’s voice wasn’t even that annoying! But we just weren’t meant to be. I’m not much of a real-time strategist, and I really hated that part where you have to ride the Razorfire Boars.  Continue reading Break-ups, Make-ups

BioShock Ultimate Rapture Edition

Mr. Bubbles

BioShooooock!! There you go gettin’ me with the cool stuff again. For $30, the BioShock Ultimate Rapture Edition, which comes out on January 14 for Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3, will include BioShock, BioShock 2, and over $40 worth of add-on content.

via Kotaku, the pack will include:

  • Museum of Orphaned Concepts: Take a tour of a never-before-seen BioShock museum and view early concept art, character models and more set within the halls of Rapture.
  • Plasmids Pack: Includes four additional Plasmids and Gene Tonics—Sonic Boom, EVE Saver, Vending Expert and Machine Buster—for use in BioShock.
  • Challenge Rooms Pack: Previously exclusive to PS3™ and now available for Xbox 360 for the first time, the pack tests the player’s mettle by requiring them to utilize the skills learned while traversing the halls of Rapture to survive three separate puzzle rooms in BioShock.
  • Sinclair Solutions Tester: Contains a number of customization features that allow players to further their character’s development in BioShock 2 multiplayer modes and provides a deeper multiplayer experience.
  • Rapture Metro: Includes six additional multiplayer maps, an additional multiplayer gameplay mode and a rank increase to level 50 for BioShock 2 multiplayer.
  • The Protector Trials: Features frantic combat and fast-paced action designed to push players’ mastery of weapons and Plasmids in a BioShock 2 single-player experience spread across six maps.
  • Minerva’s Den: A substantial narrative experience that puts players in the role Subject Sigma and introduces new characters, locations and mystery to the world of Rapture inBioShock 2. Set in a new environment, Rapture Central Computing, Minerva’s Den adds a gripping new storyline to extend the BioShock 2 experience.
  • Also included, is an exclusive collectable sticker pack from BioShock Infinite’s world of Columbia to get gamers ready for the next chapter in the BioShock universe.

I cannot resist never-before-seen concept art. New environment I haven’t explored?! And STICKERS?!! They have so got my number.

If you’ve previously missed out on the magic of Rapture, January 14 would be a good time to jump in.

What Your Plasmid Choice Says About You

Plasmids by Ryan Industries

Picture this: You’re in Rapture. All is quiet in Pauper’s Drop. Too quiet. Suddenly…you’re attacked by three splicers! Quick! Which plasmid do you fire up? Which weapon do you use?

Every BioShock player has his or her favorites. But what does your plasmid choice say about you? Using the same skills of making things up that those Cosmo editors use to tell you what will drive your man wild, I’ve got your answers!

(I limited the choices to BioShock 2 because I just replayed that one. Leave your BioShock faves in comments.) Continue reading What Your Plasmid Choice Says About You