The Naked Inquisitor

I am playing Dragon Age Inquisition on the Xbox 360. My first character is an Elf Rogue Archer named Yuna. She was originally named Velyuna, but after remaking her twice due to makeup fuck-ups that bothered me once the game actually began, I decided she was the type of person who would drop the first syllable of her given name and just go by Yuna.

Yuna has medium brown hair, lovely green face tattoos, perfectly shaped ears and a retroussé nose and Alix Wilton Regan’s voice. She is earnest but often sarcastic and, much like her creator, has a weakness for handsome human men. Yuna is really good at shooting things with a bow and arrow. And Yuna hates wearing clothes.Screen Shot 2014-12-03 at 2.33.30 PM

The first time I saw Yuna in her underwear seemed logical. She had just woken up from a prolonged period of unconsciousness after sealing her first major Fade Rift, and hadn’t had time to get dressed yet. Who sleeps in their clothes, after all? I didn’t realize then just how much Yuna likes to be naked.

Her proclivity to nudity started to dawn on me once she began to feel comfortable in her role as Herald of Andraste and de facto leader of the newly-fledged Inquisition. After a few missions in the Hinterlands, she walked into a meeting at the War Table clad solely in her smallclothes, despite the fact that I had just upgraded and equipped her armor. “Maybe she thinks better without constricting garments,” I thought. Soon she began showing up to every War Council in her undies. She never consulted with her advisors while fully dressed. “That’s an interesting leadership tactic,” I observed.

Yuna traveled around the countryside and killed bad guys and gained influence, and then some dramatic stuff happened and the Inquisition upgraded headquarters to a boss-ass abandoned fortress called Skyhold. That’s when she really started to feel comfortable and let it all hang out. No longer was clotheslessness confined to War Councils!

At Skyhold, Yuna refuses to wear clothes entirely. It doesn’t matter what armor I equip her with. She’ll put it on when she hits the road. When Yuna’s at home, the clothes come off. Her advisors and party members accept this quirk of her character without comment. She’s a good leader, after all, regardless of what she chooses to wear—or not wear—around headquarters.

Over time, Yuna’s relationship with Cullen, former Templar and Commander of the Inquisition’s forces, developed from a respectful-but-distant leader/advisor dynamic into a full-blown making-out-on-the-battlements-whenever-she’s-in-Skyhold thing. Once, after the first time they put their mouths on each other, Yuna asked Cullen how long he had wanted to kiss her. He chuckled and said something tactful about wanting to suck face with her for longer than he should admit. But, as the all-knowing observer on the other end of the controller, I think I know exactly when the idea first crossed his mind.

rudely interrupted
^rudely interrupted mid-underwear-clad makeout sesh on the battlements

I am positive Cullen wanted to jump on my girl since the first time she strutted into a War Council to talk strategy in her underwear.

 

Man, I hope this glitch never gets fixed.

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9 thoughts on “The Naked Inquisitor”

      1. Though I’m still baffled that she wore her armor around Haven for a while before transitioning to the undies-at-home life

  1. Gotta be honest I wish there was a choice between underwear, Inquisitor uniform, and armor to wear anytime we wanted.

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