Witchy Spectacles


I spent Sunday night/all day Monday marathoning Bayonetta 2 with my friends Lauren and Hannah. I had a wonderful time, and have a lot to say about it once my brain finally recovers from the BARRAGE of SPECTACLE (my right thumb is mostly recovered from the ordeal, after four days). I thought it was incredibly fitting that we were rewarded with unlocked concept art upon defeating the final boss and completing the game, because the style on display in this game…well, let’s just say I’ve been a wee bit obsessed this week. And lo and behold! Yesterday, Gita Jackson published a killer article on Bayonetta style for Paste. It is excellent, and I’d highly recommend checking it out, HOWEVER:

I suspect, after reading twice, that Gita is not as near-sighted as I am, because while she covers Bayonetta’s opulent accessorization, there is no specific mention of glasses.* In my blind mind, the frames make the Umbra Witch, AND since I need only the slightest provocation to spend hours scouring the internet for gorgeous glasses, recently ran out of contacts, and my current style steeze runs heavily to this:


and this:


and this:

IRS Dominatrix

I’m in the mood to indulge in a little glasses porn. Shall we?

This Etsy shop is one of my favorite places to buy (occasionally) and drool over (copiously) vintage frames. I MEAN:






GUH. UH. can’t form proper words; need frames on face

I’m so into these frames on Celia Edell (@ceedling on Instagram); she says they’re Miu Miu and she bought ’em at Otticanet:

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Speaking of Otticanet, LOOK at these mean-ass glorious gold Tom Fords:


Dolce & Gabbana is ridiculous:


*gasp* Silhouette:



Oh hi Prada:

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I never watch celebrity awards shows, but I’m all over the gowns online the next day. Lupita Nyong’o looked stunning (per usual) on the Golden Globes red carpet this year, but the glasses take it to a whole ‘nother level:


Warby Parker is full of similarly-shaped lovelies:


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I’m particularly intrigued by the Goodney frame, as I tend to favor cat-eyes and my day-to-day Cailins are now discontinued (*sob*/hahahaha no one else will have them!!):

1000x500 (2) Continuing along the affordable trail, Coastal offers a lot of great deals, especially for first-time buyers:




I actually own a pair of multiplication/division symbol Derek Cardigan frames, which I love, and SOME DAY I will own a pair featuring my favorite punctuation mark:


Zenni Optical is SUPER affordable and has a ton of gorgeous frames:







LOOK at these glasses in the Charli XCX issue of Nylon Magazine:


(I can’t figure out how to get the credits for this editorial to show up on my digital issue, please someone tell me who makes these so I can covet them properly.)

I just may spend my Friday evening crafting in attempt to approximate the magnificence of Rosa’s ruby-adorned specs in Bayonetta 2 with some of my old frames:


Those witchy spidery butterfly cut-outs, MAN!!

If you’re not lucky enough to need the damn things to see, you can always wear your face-jewelry on your head, Jeanne-style:

6_2jeanne_02 And, of course, the bigger the earrings you pair with your glasses, the better.

Go forth and be sexily bespectacled, my fellow Umbra Witches! Remember, you can’t be a very effective angel-kicking Left Eye of Darkness if you can’t see.


*ETA I suspected wrongly, here is Gita showin’ us all how foxy glasses wearing is done. Get. It. dude!!

2 thoughts on “Witchy Spectacles”

  1. Oh thank goodness! I was afraid there would be no solutions for those of us who don’t wear glasses. I’ll remember to keep them on my head. 😉

    I do enjoy a fun pair of sunglasses. My lack of glasses is not due to naturally good eyesight however! Instead I have LASER eyes (from paying an exorbitant amount for Lasik surgery)!

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